A Wake Up Call

After not posting any blogs for many months I now have the urge to began posting again.  Since last April I have been taking on-line classes with the University of the Rockies.  I am in doctoral program Once complete I will have earned a PsyD with a specialty in International Leadership.  Being in the program has boosted my confidence.  I do have something to say and I will be heard.

Anyway, yesterday while attending a job related meeting I had a wake up call. I am the clinical supervisor of a program that assists persons with co-occurring disorders (substance abuse and mental illness) re-enter society after incarceration.  The meeting was with the sociology professor that is assisting us with evaluation of the program.  The program just received a new grant and we are re-organizing our evaluation process.  Our program will now have two phases: a pre-release phase and a post-release phase.  We provided only post-release services previously. 

During the meeting I suggested that we conduct a couple of focus groups for program participants just prior to release from prison.  The sociology professor without hesitation stated that she would be concerned about ethical issues.  Her response was like a slap in the face.  Was she saying that I had suggested something that was unethical?  Does she believe that I do not understand what would be required to conduct an ethical focus groups with inmates?  I sat there confused.  I did not react.  My emotions were on fire.  I felt misjudged and insulted.  

I suppose I had expected that a simple suggestion for a focus group related to a component of the program that was new would be fairly considered and not attacked.  But these feelings were not unfamiliar.   I recognized them as the type of subtle attacks or disrespect that is launched when threaten someone's authority and they want to put you in your place.  It is a common reaction when someone you believe to be beneath you has the audacity to challenge you or question your authority.  

When I thought about it I realized that focus groups had become a sensitive topic for this professor.  We conducted focus groups with the previous program and they did not go very well.  In one of our review meetings I suggested that next time we should conduct the focus groups differently.  They were led by the professor and a research assistant. 
The professor and the research assistant are white middle aged females originally from the mainland (we are in Hilo, Hawaii).   Our participants are mainly Native Hawaiians and Portuguese males who grew up here in Hilo.  I had come across information related to my studies that emphasized the importance of conducting focus groups in a culturally relavant manner.  One of the most import factors was selecting facilitators that the participants could relate to.  

I believe the professor did not take to kindly to my criticism of how we conducted our focus groups and my suggestion that we would get better results by making it more culturally relevant.   White Americans (especially those who consider themselves liberal) believe that they should be considered capable in all situations.  Stating that she could not be culturally relevant as a facilitator was probably tantamount to calling her a incompetent.   

The wake up call was that if I want to be in a better position to respond to such situations or be able to have my input respected I must complete what I have started with my doctorate.  I do want my voice heard and respected.  I know there will be attacks and attempts to discredit me, but I want to be standing on a doctorate degree and several publications.

So far I have completed 6 classes and have earned all A's.  I will be finished with my course work in about a year.  I will then work exclusively on my dissertation.  With a little patience and persistence I will reach my goal.